Monday, October 15, 2012

Happy Birthday, Mother.  You would have been 91 today.  It has been almost eleven years since you left us and I still miss you.  I'm working on a quilt again - one for Michael's little girl, Presley.  Oh, Mother, you would adore her!  She is such a diva.  Anyway, I need you to help me with the quilt - it's not much fun working on them without you here to help me.  This one is pretty big...it's made from 2.5" strips of all things pink - looks like "Arizona Sunset."  It is so bulky and difficult to get through the machine.  All through the painful pushing and shoving it thru the machine I was wishing you were here.  You used to hold the quilts for me so the weight didn't pull and tug on the machine or me, and I miss you helping me guide all that bulk through the arm of the machine.  Anyway, hope you had a marvelous birthday.  Tell Grandma, Aunt Lona, Uncle Rex, Aunt Florence, Uncle Marvin, Uncle D, Uncle Chris, Uncle Tommy, and Uncle Charles hello and give hugs to everybody.  Tell Papa I'm looking forward to seeing him as well.  And if Daddy is there, and if you see him, tell him hello for me.  No, I don't expect you to give him a hug!! (lol)

This past week has been SO dang hard.  Our spaniel Maggie has been steadily going downhill healthwise.  She got really bad last week and we had to take her to the vet on Thursday.  He gave her some meds for the Cushings disease (liver) and the arthritis.  Instead of it helping her, she had a terrible weekend.  She got down so bad she couldn't get up again - couldn't walk any more.  We thought we were going to lose her last night, but she held on until and through today.  This evening at about 5 o'clock we had her at the vet and we said our final goodbyes to her.  Mother, be looking for her at the rainbow bridge.  She will be the prettiest, sweetest black cocker spaniel there.  She'll be sniffing the flowers - she loves the garden - and she'll be making her way around all the various places.  But then she'll be looking for Daddy and Mommy and we won't be there.  Please take care of her for us.  And by the way, how is Murphy doing?  He will love Maggie - everybody does.  I still miss him very much.  I still have his collar and tags and his leash.  I don't let anyone else use his leash.  The same will be true for Maggie's collar and leash.

You didn't meet Maggie before you went away.  After we lost you unexpectedly in December of 2001, then Daddy in February of 2002, then Murphy Joe in November of 2002, I just about grieved myself to death, too.  That was during the time I was fighting the horrible bone infection, was allowed out of the hospital to attend your funeral and Daddy's, then back in the hospital for all that time.  I was home on recuperation after all of that and before the next hospital go 'round when Murphy died of west nile.  Ken talked me into trying to find another baby because I needed something to hang on to.  We found Maggie at the Humane Society - actually she found Ken.  She jumped into his arms out of that cage the instant it was opened and never let him go.  We had no choice but to bring her home with us that day.  She's been a great companion all this time.  But she was struggling and we had to make the final decision today.  So now she needs you to look out for her (Note: Maggie is terribly afraid of thunderstorms and other loud noises, but she loves the rain.  And she loves to roll in the grass after it's been mowed.  But most of all, Maggie needs to be close to the people she loves.  She has anxiety attacks when she's anywhere except at home with her "people" unless it's on the motorhome or she's out walking with Daddy.  Otherwise she cries to go home.  I think she'll run toward you because I think she'll know who you are.)

I had an interview today - for a job where I am currently employed as a part-time temporary instructor.  I don't think I'll get the job...they told me they have interviewed several others and are expecting to call back at least two of them for second interviews.  I think they interviewed me as a courtesy since I've been doing the job for them since their curriculum coordinator became ill in August and passed away week before last.  Don't ask me why they don't want me - I have no idea.  They keep telling me I'm doing a good job with the classes.

Guess that's about it for now.  I'm tired.  It's been a stressful Monday.  I miss you so much - wish you had a telephone.  I know you're pretty busy talking with everyone, and I hope to see you in the future but I'm not quite ready to turn loose here.  I'm hoping some day to get to see my own children and grandchildren again, but for now I'm still non-existent in their world.

Love you - bye for now.