Time goes by fast, doesn't it? Just yesterday it was the end of spring, grandchildren were finishing school, granddaughter was graduating from high school, and the summer was beginning. So many things happen and life changes in such short elapses of time.
SO, what have we been doing? What's been happening? Let me see. I was ill and weak beginning in May and that did not improve much in June and July..in fact I was down for several weeks. I missed out on being able to have the grandchildren for some of the time this summer, although I'm sure I would not have been permitted to even if I had been able. Nevertheless, I wanted to have them here.
I've basically been forced to stay inside the house most of the summer because of being unable to breathe due to the ozone. I am fortunate that I have a couple of good friends, Linda and Toni, who put up with me and my inabilities and meet me for lunch almost every week...usually on Friday. We've enjoyed eating our way through the restaurants in Burleson deciding which ones we do or don't like!
Due to extreme depression I haven't accomplished much this summer except playing on the computer. I've spent a LOT of time sleeping, which is scary. But many days I was not able to get up. Ken checks on me because he's afraid I'm dead. Only recently have I been able to do more. I'm still working on a quilt I started in the spring. I keep hoping to finish it "this week" but it hasn't happened. It's still on the machine.
Ken has been very busy. We decided earlier this year that we are officially retired - no more looking for jobs. After all, we're ok on income and the bills are getting paid - albeit slowly. And with the Saturn paid off we're not hurting. So what happened? He was invited to work as a member of the event staff for the Cowboy stadium (ATT stadium since renaming). So he went to training and has been working for the past month or so at that. Means he's gone from home for hours at a time. He's also continuing to volunteer at the Methodist mission...something he does strictly because he wants to. His friends don't understand why he does it, but I do. He feels very fortunate and it's his way of giving back. Other than that he's meeting up with his buddies for breakfast and/or lunch, going to his once-a-month high school lunches, still attending group therapy sessions, still seeing a psychiatrist on a one-on-one basis, and still seeing his MHMR doctors, his eye specialist, and the endocrinologist. They FINALLY have his meds straightened out so that his mood swings are a lot less volatile. He just hates that because he can't help it and it leaves him completely wrung out when it happens. He's still fighting the insulin pump issues...so hard to deal with Medicare and insurance and the suppliers. The endocrinologist suggested a change in supplier but that would mean starting all over and that means all the experimenting with testing, meds, etc. Don't think he's willing to do that.
The big sad news is, my brother Gerald died. I received a call from my oldest brother Joe the evening of August 13 letting me know that Gerald had died earlier that day. I lost it completely. So totally unprepared for that. That just about killed me, too. I was pretty much unable to function for several days except for communicating with my nephew and nieces. Oh, God, it was horrible. I went to bed for two days, but I was working with my nephew via phone and text to plan a small service for my brother. Gerald living in Joplin, Missouri with Sarah and had been since 2001. Gerald's wife died in 2000 and Sarah was a widow. They had not married because Sarah would lose her military widow benefits, but to all of us (and Gerald) he was married to Sarah. Sarah was pretty much at a loss when this happened. She arranged for Gerald's cremation which happened on Friday, August 16. On Friday, August 23, Sarah's son brought her to Quinlan, Texas where the service was held. Very small, very meaningful. Gerald's daughter Brenda was here from South Carolina. She is the daughter who was like my own child from the day she was born but was raised in Georgia after Gerald and his first wife divorced. Anyway, it was a real emotional time.
My own two daughters attended. They were so beautiful. I just want to hold them so badly but my oldest daughter won't even speak to me, and it hurt so bad when she pulled back and actually cringed when I moved close to her. I cried over everything all the way home. My greatest loss is my daughters and my grandchildren.
One thing about losing a sibling, it brings home the realization of our own mortality. No matter how much time I have left on this earth it's not much...not nearly enough. And I realized I'm terrified of dying...terrified of the after life (and is there one?). So many thoughts, emotions, fears, questions, regrets. What's the point in trying to accomplish anything? We're just going to die anyway.
Yet we have to continue to live until we die. So I decided to give it a try. I am sick, sick, sick of the high blood sugars caused by every medication I take, any food I eat, etc. Raging at 450+. So I joined Weight Watchers on Thursday, August 29. Feel like I'm on a starvation diet, but it is working. Not so concerned about the weight as I am about the sugars. They are not all the way in the control zone but much better than 400, 500, 575, etc. Now they are 170-250. Hopefully that can be tuned with insulin. I'm reporting every day to the doctor and I see him next Wednesday. That will be two weeks on Weight Watchers so it should give us a good idea if it works. Taking sugar sticks every 4 hours.
So now September! Grandchildren back in school; granddaughter moved to college; text messages say she's doing ok. And one granddaughter in high school! Unbelievable. Love my grandchildren!
And I'm working on the quilt I should have finished several months ago! I've had a devil of a time doing the straight line quilting - everything wants to pucker! But, it IS getting done and that's the good news!
I'll be off to a cranky retreat in east Texas week after next - need to get my hand crank sewing machine oiled and lubed and ready. I've got to figure out what I'm going to be working on ... I'm thinking some string blocks (need to get muslin for backing), taking a quilt top or two that I've got finished so I can get them sandwiched (make use of the large tables there for laying them out), maybe take hubby's t-shirt quilt to start sewing blocks together, and no idea what else. I need to get a charity quilt made...maybe a couple of those easy receiving blankets. We'll see. I'll start packing for that next week.
Oh, forgot a couple of things about K. He was contacted by the guys where he used to work - where all the problems originated - and he went to see them last week. Seems everything was not as claimed by others and it was recognized. The place has been sold, the old team is back in place, business is good, but K wants no part of it of course. But he enjoyed going there and visiting with the people. He'll probably go back from time to time.
Also, Ken was invited to be an associate member of the Sons of Confederate Veterans. He can't be a full member because we have yet to prove any confederate ancestry (all Union)...but at least we do know now that he did have family in this country at the time of the Rev. War. Seems his mother's side of the house goes WAY back in this country! So now we are looking for one of her ancestors so he can become a member of the Sons of the American Revolution as well. The one we immediately found has been rejected because he deserted - oh the things we discover when we do research.
Anyway, September begins United Daughters of the Confederacy year as well as the Daughters of the American Revolution year. The UDC meeting was Wednesday, the DAR was yesterday (Thursday). I was elected a delegate for the UDC Texas Division Convention in Houston which is the first weekend in October. I'm getting ready for that - which means, I need new things in the wardrobe (formal wear, hat, white gloves, shoes). I'll start shopping tomorrow. As for DAR, I was invited to be a member of the Membership Committee so I'll be supporting the chair for that.
My friend Ann from high school made application for both organizations last spring. She's getting that work completed. And my friend Virginia visited both groups with me this week. We had previously submitted her paperwork to begin application for DAR. That was voted on yesterday and she was there for it. Yea! Now just need to get her paperwork completed.
K and I are heading to Beaver's Bend, Oklahoma 10-13 October. The NTXCA will be there that weekend. We don't currently have a rig, but we have reserved a cabin. We're looking for a rig but want something pretty small and simple. No more huge houses on wheels. We're even thinking about going back to a pop-up tent camper or maybe a small lightweight trailer. We don't need a mansion.
A few funny things have happened along the way...I stopped at a store after having lunch with my friends last week. Picked up all kinds of things that were on sale and carried them around with me. Finally went through them, selected the "final" things I was going to buy, went home. Couldn't get a certain white denim jacket off my mind...very pretty with silver sparkle stuff on the breast pockets. Saturday Ken had to work so I went back to the store but alas it was gone. I was so disappointed. When I got home I went on line and ordered the jacket and had it shipped to the store (to avoid shipping charges). A day or so later Ken suggested we go out for supper instead of cooking. I stepped into the closet to get clothes and saw the bag from the store hanging on the rod...I wondered what that white thing was in the bag so opened it...sure enough I am the culprit who bought that jacket that was hanging on the sales rack!!! So now I will have TWO of them. I guess I need help.
That's it for now. I've bought a couple of sewing machines...clones of Singer 15...now hoping to find someone who wants them...I'm wanting to pair down to just the few I use.
As always, love and hugs to my children and grandchildren. There's absolutely no way you will ever know how much you are loved except through the feelings you have for your very own.
