Appointment with Dr. Broker, Vascular Specialist early this morning. First time I've met him and his staff although they are members of my transplant team. First time I've needed to see him. VERY good looking, and appears to be all of 12 years old! I was so stunned when he came in the examination door that it came right out of my mouth - "Oh, my gosh! You're so young!" He laughed, said he had actually shaved this morning...otherwise his grey would showing. Anyway, thankfully I didn't have to fill out a bunch of paperwork because it's all in the computer same as Dr. Lander the heart doc and the hospital. Nice to work with a team.
Really sweet tech put me through the paces today, including a deep sonogram of the veins in the left leg. Sure enough there is damage and the valves don't work. And yes, it is a vascular lesion on my leg which could worsen and become an ulcer which might never heal causing loss of leg, blah, blah, blah. The doc also ordered a sonogram of the right leg and there is damage there, too, but not yet as bad as the left. So, we start with the left. This will require surgery, but now days it is done via laser and not by the barbaric means of hospitalization, putting the patient under heavy anesthesia, cutting out and stripping the veins. With laser it is still surgery, but under local, takes about an hour, is done in the doc's office, but must have driver with the patient. There will be no prolonged sitting or long car trips for at least two weeks after surgery due to possibility of blood clots. He promises there will be pain (how will I know the difference) but should subside in about a week (they all promise that!). And, it will take several months for healing. But eventually the lesion/ulcerated leg should heal. There will be walking involved...no idea how I'm going to do that but I am. Doesn't have to be fast, and can certainly use the walker. Can't wait to get this done; over with.
Afterward had my visit with my counselor and discussed various things including whether or not I'm jealous of my ex or anyone, and whether or not I'm manipulative. Some self examination. No, I'm not jealous. I wanted OUT of that situation, so not jealous. Counselor doesn't think so, either. However, I confessed to having hurt feelings and feelings of being disrespected because I want to have time with my children and grandchildren. Counselor says that I need to own those feelings, that they are my feelings...that it is ok for me to have feelings and that I should not be guilty because I have feelings. I'm not making any sense trying to write this down, but I understood at the time.
Manipulative...still can't see that one, and we talked about it a lot. Haven't been around anyone or spoken to anyone in a long time to be manipulative. I need more feedback for us to discuss that one.
We talked a lot about relationships...that a relationship, at least a good one, cannot be one directional and be a true relationship. That the "rules" and "demands" of the relationship cannot be made by one side, that consideration of the needs of both sides have to be involved. And learned that my needs are viable just as everyone's needs are. Wow! I need to replay that one over and over again in my head 'til I get it through my noggin.
Also had discussion that just because the relationship is not good doesn't mean I am a bad person (which is the dialogue I tend to play repeatedly in my brain). It also means that the other party to the relationship has issues they need to resolve. What a concept!
As usual, there were no miracles that occurred, just some good things to contemplate, some great points I need to work on for improving thoughts of my own self worth, which has been zilch for a long time. And some things I need to watch out for to "protect" myself.
Other than that...I stopped at Joann's to get supplies for the rag quilt I need to make for the lady who does our house cleaning. I need to get it completed by next Wednesday. Her baby is due any moment. I picked out 6 different pink flannels and bought a yard of each. I'm planning to use 8" squares to make it about 48x48, flannel both sides, no batting in between. She asked me to make it so that it is really, really soft. So it will be with flannel. I should, hopefully, be able to get it completed over the weekend if I don't come down with the crud K has.
Speaking of the crud, K is definitely down! Oh, my. He was sick all night long, wasn't able to go to the mission this morning (and he just hates that!), wasn't able to go to the Civil War Museum this afternoon, has been taking meds all day, and is currently asleep and snoring (I can hear him from here). I was hoping he would be able to help me with packing the two cars with the Christmas gifts for the kiddos so we could get them delivered, but that's just not going to happen today. He's supposed to work at the stadium tomorrow, but I don't see that going to happen either.
Guess I can't move furniture out of my sewing room today either...can't do it by myself. I'm wanting to move everything out of this room, including the huge desk, so that I can do a deep cleaning. Then I'm not going to put all of this back in here, but am instead going to do some different things to make the room work better for cutting/sewing/quilting and storing fabrics and supplies.
That's it...I'm tired...one of K's business contacts is supposed to stop by in a bit...need to wake him up. Other than that, going to get the leg elevated and may close the eyes very early.
Happy ending to Thursday?
No comments:
Post a Comment
Comments are invited, but they are reviewed for inappropriate language and content.