Friday, April 27, 2012

Up kinda early, hair and teeth brushed, out the door to head back to Rustic Creek RV Park to check on the motorhome and load some of the stuff on it now that it is cleaned. Got there, Ken immediately went into his screaming, yelling, toddler tantrum fit because his brain simply does not engage such that he understands how the coach works. He screamed and yelled at me that this doesn't work, that doesn't work, etc. I told him he had to turn both of the house batteries on/off under the hood and he told me only one of them was for the house. I could not make him understand and he went into a rage. I know what I'm talking about because I had a private walkthrough with the salesman when we bought the coach because I knew Ken would not be able to handle the rig. Of course things worked once both house batteries were engaged.

We finally started unloading the bins Ken had taken from the garage that supposedly hold the things that go on the motorhome. The first bin we opened held all kinds of party things for a Hawaiian luau. We put them back in the bin to take to the Goodwill. The second bin had a few plastic glasses, bowls and very few plates. Certainly not any of the things that we use such as bowls, pots/pans, etc. One of the bins had the table top BBQ grill and the awning lights and some stuff for the bathroom - first aid kit, soaps, stuff. We put up what was there and then started getting ready to leave. The entire time we were there Ken was in rage mode. He has no patience for doing anything so when it was time to pull in the slide (electric), he got so mad and threw a fit and could not get it to work. It was because he was moving the toggle switch to the wrong direction, etc., etc. The slide came in fine (it is slow) once he stopped the fit he was throwing.

(I can no longer live this way. It has been almost 10 years. I am tired of being abused verbally, emotionally, mentally while at the same time supporting him. Today I looked on line for divorce forms to complete. I do not feel any responsibility or obligation for Ken since his insanity is due to his own doing. I am going to have to do what it takes to take care of me.)

We dropped the coach off at Camping World. The list includes a left brake light, city water connection in the utility bay, checking out the kitchen faucet and water lines (water runs everywhere), and checking the slide. Whether or not Ken remains a part of my life, I intend to operate the motorhome. I am perfectly capable of doing that, and now that I am retired I intend to go. Sometime this next week I will have to get out in the garage to find the bins of things that go back on the motorhome. The motorhome was purchased from my severance package funds, Ken did not and has never contributed a dime for any of the RVs or the main house.

We stopped for lunch at Julie's then dropped off the bin of stupid Hawaiian crap at the Goodwill. We came home, I locked myself in my office/sewing room, spent the afternoon crying and working on Katie Jo's afghan. I am just really, really unable to contend with life with Ken any more. I asked him today why he wants to stay somewhere he knows he's not wanted! I know the answer -- he's using me as his financial support. His income of $1600 per month simply will not pay for rent, his car, medical insurance, auto insurance, meds, groceries, and gasoline. So he is using me.

Sorry, I don't have the oomph to come up with anything witty or inspirational tonight. I'm too busy trying to figure out how to get out of this situation.